by Theresa Conti
We all experience discouragement from time to time. The key, when in the midst of challenge, is to focus on the positive. Today’s tip provides a strategy to develop your sense of agency and change your point of view.
“If you keep saying things are going to be bad, you have a good chance of being a prophet.”
– Isaac Bashevis Singer
It’s easy to feel frustrated when things don’t go our way or take longer than we wish. We may become discouraged or judge others for not being or thinking the way we think they should, and in the end, wreak havoc on our minds and bodies due to anxiety and stress.
Want a different outcome? Do what’s in your power to achieve your desired results, (start the book, move to a different apartment, begin a new relationship, take a few breaths when you’re feeling upset, etc.), then focus on your wins and help your brain learn from the positive!
For instance, research shows that the practice of gratitude has myriad benefits – from improved immune functioning to an increase in happiness. One of my personal practices includes thinking about three good things that happened during the day and writing them in my journal just prior to going to bed. I let the good feelings that arise flow down into my body as I take a few breaths and drift off to sleep. I find I sleep better and I wake up feeling happier.
You can use the practice in a general sense – such as writing what your grateful for each day – or pairing the exercise with an objective – like listing times you felt more patient during the day, if that’s a resource you’re wanting to grow. You can augment the practice by noticing the good feelings that emerge as you contemplate your wins, letting the sensations sink down into your body like a warm golden ray. The later will help your brain steepen its learning curve.
Experiment and try it for a month! Then see if your outlook or sense of well-being has changed.
If you like, rate your current state on a scale from 1 – 10 with “1” being on the lowest rating on the scale and “10” being the highest. For instance, if you’re wanting to develop greater patience, you might rate yourself at 4 at the beginning of the practice, if that’s accurate. Then, at the end of the month, rate yourself again. You may find you’ve jumped up a couple of notches to a “6” – or whatever number is true for you. You can use the practice to help you grow any inner resource or quality.
Need some ideas? Here are a few to get you started:
|What You Might Notice
|Notice what’s going well.
|Caught the bus and even got a seat!
|Spend more time with family
|Left work on time and/or cooked dinner with my partner
|Feeling valued / appreciated
|Received a compliment from a friend, boss, etc.
|Express my creativity
|Wrote / painted, etc. for 30-minutes
|Agency / Be more assertive
|Expressed my opinion at a meeting
|Listened to what __ said (rather than interrupting)
|To feel safe
|A warm home, food in the refrigerator, etc.
Have fun with it! Who knows? You may even pet a goat! As always, I would love to know how it goes!
Want more ideas? Feel free contact me at Theresa@reconnecting2you.com for a complimentary consultation.
With love, Theresa